A few tips on preparing for an engagement

It’s quite funny to note that recently I’ve gotten lots of e-mail seeking advice and opinions on engagement or wedding preparation. Actually, I believe my preparation is one of the hastiest ever – a ‘proper’ preparation could take about 6 months or a year in advance, as suggested by this blogger.

For those who plan on getting engaged – good luck. I can share with you a little bit of my experience – but I may not be the best to disperse some advice since I only had two weeks to prepare for my engagement (that’s exactly why I had to loan a friend’s jubah instead of wearing my own baju on that day).

Here’s a few tips on engagement – as requested by a few friends and readers :

* Seek your parents’s advice – especially your mom. You might be the one who’s getting engaged but your parents would want to be involved – so go seek their opinions on this and that – the ring, the theme of the hantaran and stuff. In my case, the engagement ring was bought in the presence of both his mom and Mak just to make both mothers feel more involved.

* The engagement ring could be a simple band or a ring with diamond or other stones. You have the options of sending first a cincin tanda during merisik and later send another proper cincin tunang or just simply choose between sending a cincin risik or a cincin tunang. It’s your engagement – you choose. For those in Putrajaya – Habib Jewels in Alamanda is currently selling diamond V-ring (with white or yellow gold) at RM295 (normal price RM590), which I think is nice and reasonable enough to be used as an engagement ring.

* Keep it simple and within your financial budget. The hantaran could be less than those for wedding – 3, 5 or 7 dulangs are sufficient. Usually it is headed by the engagement ring (for the guys) and tepak sirih, followed by other dulangs comprising potpourri/bunga rampai, chocolate, sweets, cake or other forms of manisan. But in my case – Mak insisted on giving more significant gifts – so, of the 7 dulang we gave in return of my fiance’s 5, four were akin to hantaran normally sent during wedding – a pair of leather formal shoes; perfume & toiletries set; belt, wallet & pen set; shirt, tie, tie pin & cuff link set. Knowing this in advance, my fiancé also gave me a pair of jubah, a sejadah & a nice woollen shawl. Don’t forget to discuss with your partner – just so that the hantaran would be somewhat balanced.

* Once you have set the numbers of dulangs to be exchanged, stick to it. Once a friend was advised by her partner that his family would bring 7 dulang. On the actual day, they came with 11. Her family had to frantically made up additional 4 dulang - which made the occassion a really kelam kabut lintang pukang one. Try to avoid that, okay?

* Add your personal touches. Pick a few aspects of the engagement and make them personalised – the personal touch can make it more memorable and pleasant, even after the function was over. I did the fruit basket for the hantaran myself – and was very pleased to note that that particular basket was in mint condition and used as a home décor object at his house when my family visited his family for Raya.

* Keep the calendar and to-do lists together. Your to-do lists are time sensitive and while you mark the calendar with the times and dates of appointments, you can also update your to-do lists. What I mean by to-do lists, huh? Stuff such as borrowing or buying the dulang hantaran, get the gubahan hantaran ready, getting the outfits ready, ensuring there’s film in the camera or a new tape for the videocam, etc.

So there. Hope this could be of help.